Fear Factor

I usually never watch the news, but it was pretty difficult to avoid the news yesterday with the terror alerts being announced on every station all hours of the day. Originally I thought they were talking about the Citigroup building downtown and it sounded like a "normal" terror alert (i.e. not affecting me), but then I realized they were talking about the Citicorp building diagonally across the street from work, and I got startled.

It's not like you can do anything to stop a terrorist attack if it could happen; it's just that when you walk through a building daily, it's a little unsettling that it's being named as a target. So today, streets are closed, cops are everywhere, doors are locked, stores are closed, public atriums are closed, and people on the bus do nothing but speak hysterically causing me to up the volume of my iPod in an attempt to block them out. Everything at work seems quite subdued, especially compared to Friday... amazing how one little press release from the government can make things not so much fun anymore.

Almost feels like we are living in a war on the homefront ... waiting for something to strike, never knowing when, never knowing where, but feeling the anticipation in the air that something is imminent. It's such a sad and depressing feeling. I got it this morning when I walked out among locked doors and lots of parked police cars outside the Citicorp Center. I got it today as we listened to news radio all day with a view of the target. I felt it when I saw the flares and the police cars checking all the cars being sheparded into the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel. I felt it when I saw the cop blockade and all the news cameras along Broadway in the Stock Exchange area. It's such a suppressing feeling and it can completely take you over... sigh. It's so hard to feel so helpless. One day at a time...