Frustration

Well, that was awfully frustrating.

We got back our second graded essays today from Barbri, and it turns out that I'm just as much of a failure as I was last time. (On the bright side, I'm not more of a failure, but there was little room to go down.) And by failing, I mean an actual failing grade. You need a 5 to pass the actual essays, and I'm, let's say, 3 below.

No improvement from the last essay either, even though I felt like I actually did better. I didn't expect any sort of stellar score. I'm glad I read comments on other people's blogs about Barbri grading, because it set my expectations low. But considering I stated some actual rules memorized from our lecture handouts in the appropriate sections of the essay, I thought I'd do at least a point better than last time.

On the last essay, my grader was nice. She (I think I assume all of the graders are female, I am not sure why, as this is clearly not realistic) said my organization was good, but concentrate on the law and don't be so verbose. I knew that was one of my problems, but it was the first graded essay; I figured I had time to work on it. The other comments in the actual essay were also pretty helpful.

In the second essay, I took some of that advice (organization was good) and added some tips from the essay workshops. Yet the score was exactly the same, and instead of getting positive feedback about anything, all I had written all over the place was, "You really need to learn the law." In fact, the tone of all the comments were kind of cranky. I realize that the graders grade a lot of papers in one sitting under time pressure, but they do know what the recipients are going through at the moment, don't they? It's not that hard to sound nice, as opposed to condescending, when you know how much Barbri crap people are dealing with at the time they get their papers back.

My frustration doesn't really stem from the actual grade and not doing better. I know I need a lot of work. I know that I don't know the law cold, and I need to review it a lot better before the exam. I know that I still need a lot of work on the essays. So, what does my frustration stem from? The fact that I followed some of the exact things that our lecturers have told us to do, and then I'm either told that they're incorrect or don't get points for them like we were told we would.

Some examples:

Essay Workshop Lecturer (who used to work for the bar examiners) told us that we should state the applicable statute and we would get points (well, fractions, but still). But apparently "This contract is for the sale of goods, so it is governed by Article 2 of the UCC" does not get points according to my Barbri grader.

I got no points in that entire section of the essay. Apparently my grader did not follow Lecturer's method of looking for things to give you points for. And while some of my larger issues weren't quite right (I knew this was my problem section of the essay), some of the smaller rules and applications were the same as the model answer. No points.

Another example. Corporations Lecturer told us that if we got a problem with an interested director transaction, here is what we should do:
- State the duty of loyalty standard
- State the rule for interested director transactions
- Apply the rule

What I did:
- State the duty of loyalty standard (exactly from the handout, since that I had actually memorized)
- State the rule for interested director transactions (also exact)
- Apply the rule

What my grader said (paraphrased): "This is not a question of loyalty, but the effect of an interested director transaction." I eventually got partial credit for stating the interested director rule, but only after the grader told me that this had nothing to do with the duty of loyalty.

But I did exactly what Corporations Lecturer told us to do! And you're telling me it's wrong? Who am I supposed to listen to - grader or Corporations Lecturer? Grader or Essay Workshop Lecturer? I would have assumed the lecturers, but I also would have thought that the things they told us to do in the lectures would have made their way to the Barbri grading sheet.

Done ranting. It's not so much the grade that bothers me, as why it ended up being that grade - because what they tell us to do and how they grade seem to be 2 entirely different standards. Maybe I should just concentrate more on the MCs. After all, there is a right answer there. (I know I can't really just concentrate on that. I'm just feeling frustrated.)

I am consoling myself over this ridiculous essay by downing gummy bears that I was supposed to save for tomorrow's simulated essay exam. (Wheee... get to hand in another essay. Let's see if they tell me I was supposed to know the law for the MPT too. If so, then I know I can disregard everything they say.) But I rationalize this as just being hungry and having to wait 30 minutes for my chicken to bake, after having gotten out of Barbri an hour later than usual with 15 minutes still to go on the tape. Not such a great Barbri day today was.

But maybe this kick in the head is what I needed as a wake-up call to start really doing work. *shrug* If I actually knew which rules I was supposed to be following!