Trust

I'm quickly losing capacity for "normal people functions." If those sections of my brain are being overrun by bar stuff, what happens if I never get those skills back?

For example: Tonight I ordered pizza. The guy was at the door and handed me the credit card receipt to sign. Since I had no cash to give him as a tip, I added the tip to the credit card receipt. But it took me about 3 minutes of staring blankly to total the receipt and calculate the tip. He must have thought I was an idiot.

This is basic math. Seriously, what's wrong with me? I could do basic addition and subtraction during the wills lecture yesterday for elective share, but I can't total a pizza receipt?

I generally round off all restaurant credit card bills into nice even dollar amounts. So I was aiming for $30. Not hard, right? $30 minus the bill and there's the tip. Right.

So I had the cents columns done, and then I got confused. I was just blankly staring at the receipt, trying to figure out what to do next! Basic math...

Then I wrote on the tip line, $29.38.

Umm...

What the hell?

So I had to scribble it all out and fix it. Apparently at some point, I just decided to add some of the cents on to the subtotal and write that number on the line. (But even that didn't make sense, because if I added the cents together, it would have produced zeroes... but it seems like I just used the cents to help me get a dollar amount. But it wasn't even a real calculation of anything!) And understandably, felt really stupid once I realized my mistake. And then took even longer to try to figure out what the correct amount was.

Sigh.

I misplaced my keys a couple of times today. I rolled my eyes at a lot of people. I'm losing patience. I couldn't tune out the ringing telephone at the gym. I started pedaling on the bike thinking the program was already running, and it was 2 minutes before I realized it was still waiting for me to enter my weight and effort level. Instead of real TV, I'm watching closed circuit feeds of our lobby and the guys who are fixing/redoing the floor. It almost looks like they're smoothing cement or something. This should not be interesting. Then again, earlier today, I watched the spinning thingy on the washing machine pulling my socks into soapy water. Also, something that should not be interesting.

I really hope that the bar hasn't damaged any ability I ever had to function like a "normal" member of society. That would really suck. I wonder how long it takes to really recover from the bar. And I wonder if Harry Potter could do the trick. (Or, whether that will just make it worse, from lack of sleep...)

I really should get back to my trusts chart instead of bopping around to New Order. 6 more pages to the lecture handout and then I am officially done with trusts!